The Warlocks Want Tabitha; Charity Has Been Tasked With Delivering Her; Timmy Is in the Mural; Kay Drops a 2x4 on Charity; The Tree of Legend Rejects Kay

The cave. The mural. The centuries-old painting that contains Timmy, who was built by Tabitha at the start of the series. The Gazette has questions about this and will be asking them.

0417The situation on Warlock Island has clarified this week into a single demand: the warlocks want Tabitha Lenox. They are not being specific about what they intend to do with her, but they have given the assembled group an ultimatum - deliver the one they want or remain in the cave. Charity has been assigned by the zombie warlocks to kill Tabitha directly, having been told Tabitha is a witch. The Gazette notes this is accurate. It also notes that Tabitha being correctly identified as a witch and being correct being the grounds for her sacrifice is a situation Tabitha has been managing since at least the Chicago Fire and has so far survived.

0417

Timmy and Tabitha discovered a warlock island history mural on the cave wall this week depicting Tabitha's prior history with the island, including a scene of her giving the warlocks the wrong sceptre hundreds of years ago. 0417 This is apparently the origin of the current grievance. 0417 The mural also contains Timmy. The Gazette notes that Timmy was built by Tabitha at the start of the series and that his presence in a centuries-old mural is therefore a significant piece of information about what Timmy is and how long Tabitha has been operating. Timmy was surprised to see himself. 0417 The Gazette considers this a reasonable response. Tabitha is worried that if the kids see the mural they will identify her as the one the warlocks want. Kay dropped a 2x4 on Charity at this juncture. The Gazette notes the timing and notes it is consistent with Kay's operational history.

The kids attempted to cross the Tree of Legend, described as crossable only by those who are pure of heart. 0417
0417Kay did not make it. She fell into the pit below. 0417 Reese lowered Miguel down to retrieve her and then pulled them both back up. The Gazette notes that Reese hauled what sources estimate as at least 300 pounds of dead weight on a rope and notes this as possibly Reese's most physically impressive documented achievement to date, which is a high bar given that he previously hacked the Vatican on a cargo-pocket computer.

Tabitha and Timmy have found a warlock sceptre of considerable power, 0417 which Tabitha believes may be able to get them off the island. This is the correct sceptre, as opposed to the wrong one she gave the warlocks several centuries ago. The Gazette considers this a meaningful distinction and notes the stakes of getting it wrong again are now higher than they were the first time.

Miguel Tells the Warlock He Is Kinda Lame Compared to the Demons From the Hell Closet; The Warlock Shakes the Entire Cave

Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald, who has descended into hell three times and been covered in goo on two separate occasions, assessed the warlock situation this week and informed the lead warlock that he is, comparatively, kinda lame. 0417The warlock shook the entire cave in response. The Gazette notes that Miguel's comparative demonology is technically accurate - the Harmony hell closet did produce more operationally sophisticated supernatural antagonists - and that mocking a warlock to its face while trapped in its cave is, regardless of accuracy, a bold strategic choice. The Gazette notes Miguel's consistency of character and notes the cave is still sealed.

The Storm: Bermuda Desk; Julian Caught With Unconscious Theresa; Ethan Confronts His Father; The Bomb Maker Tied to the Mast; A Giant Wave; Luis Goes Under With the Driftwood

The assembled men of Harmony in Bermuda. The boat. The wave. The driftwood. Luis going down with it. The daring undersea recovery. The room upstairs where Julian was being a creep.

0417The men of Harmony assembled in Bermuda this week to search for Sheridan in the storm. The search party comprised Luis, Ethan, and Chad. 0417 The bomb maker hired by Julian also boarded the vessel and produced a firearm. 0417Luis dropped him. Chad grabbed the gun. 0417 They tied the bomb maker to the mast. Luis jumped in to pursue what he believed was Sheridan. Chad pulled him back aboard holding only Sheridan's shirt. A giant wave subsequently destroyed the boat. The bomb maker, tied to the mast when the boat was destroyed, is presumed dead. The remaining men found driftwood. Luis was tied to a piece of it. It sank. Luis went down with it. A daring undersea recovery was mounted. All three men eventually made it back to shore.0417
0417
0417

jezspirit · Meteorological Assessment "Some are calling it the perfect storm."

The Gazette notes jezspirit's characterisation and notes it is apt. Upon returning to shore, Ethan discovered that Julian had been attending to the sedated Theresa in a manner Ethan correctly identified as inappropriate. Theresa had been sedated by a doctor after believing her brother and fiancé had died in the storm. Julian was in her room when Ethan arrived. Ethan confronted his father. He was, per sources, quite angry. The Gazette considers this an accurate emotional response and the minimum appropriate one.0417

Rebecca and Gwen have arrived in Bermuda. Rebecca's objective is to marry Julian before he can annul his marriage to Theresa. The Gazette notes that bigamy is, sources confirm, VERY illegal in Bermuda. Julian is in considerable legal jeopardy on multiple concurrent fronts.

Ivy Is Struck by Lightning; Ivy Is on a Stretcher

Sam Bennett planned to travel to Warlock Island to check on the kids during the incoming storm. Before he could leave, the Harmony lighthouse required urgent repair. Sam and Ivy worked together to fix it. Ivy was struck by lightning in the course of this work and taken away on a stretcher. The Gazette notes that Ivy's documented history with this paper includes three thrown vases, a pink powersuit, a BMW through a church nave, and now a lightning strike, and that Ivy's survival rate across these events is 100 percent. The Gazette is not expressing optimism. It is noting the record.

Grace Has Selective Amnesia; She and David Reenact Their Wedding to Jog Her Memory; It Is Weird Even for This Show; Grace Decides She Wants Sam Back Because She Does Not Remember Making Love to David

Grace Bennett has been assessed this week as having selective amnesia, which the Gazette notes is a more specific diagnosis than the general amnesia previously reported. The distinction matters: selective amnesia implies that some memories are present and others are not, rather than a total loss of prior identity. This is potentially relevant to the question of what Grace does and does not know about her life before Sam.

Grace and David were arranged to reenact their wedding to see if it jogged her memory. The Gazette notes this is a peculiar therapeutic framework and that multiple sources confirmed it was weird even for this show. It did not appear to work. Grace's stated reason for wanting Sam back: she does not remember making love to David and therefore does not believe he is her husband. The Gazette is noting this as Grace's evidential standard and noting that it is a personal and subjective one, but that it appears to be the operative one.

Pilar and Ivy had a conversation at the church earlier this week. Ivy made an offering of flowers at the altar of the chapel she drove her BMW through. Pilar informed Ivy that God does not accept flowers. The Gazette considers Pilar's assessment theologically reasonable and notes that driving a BMW through a church is not typically covered by the standard terms of floral reconciliation. Father Mike - who the Gazette notes has fully reversed his position from last issue and is now 100 percent positive he married David and Grace - was present. The Gazette notes the 100 percent certainty and notes it is in direct contradiction with his previous 100 percent denial. The Gazette is watching Father Mike.

The Gazette · Father Mike Assessment He loves lobster. He has now given contradictory sworn accounts. The Gazette does not know what to make of Father Mike but is making a note of both positions for the record. The Gazette thinks he might just want to be done with this and get some lobster.0417

0417A National Forecaster Notices the Bermuda Storm Has Stopped, Reversed, and Is Now Heading Directly for Harmony by way of Warlock Island; Several Other Major Storms Have Followed Suit; The Gazette Considers This Significant

The map. The track. The convergence. The Gazette does not have a meteorology correspondent and is appointing one now, retroactively, for this article.

A national television weatherman tracking the Bermuda storm this week noticed something that this paper considers one of the more significant developments of the issue: the storm stopped in its tracks, reversed course, and began moving directly toward Harmony, Massachusetts. It did not do this on its own. Several other high-profile storm systems have followed the same pattern, converging on Harmony from multiple directions.0417

The Gazette is a local paper. It covers a town. That town has, in this paper's eleven-issue run, hosted: a hell portal, a hallucinogenic fog campaign running for years, a witch who started the Chicago Fire, a basement containing a separate corked witch, a hatchet-wielding motel operator, an active Crane murder operation, and a warlock island whose sceptre situation has now been escalating for at least several centuries. The Gazette has always operated on the working assumption that Harmony's supernatural activity was locally contained. The national weather desk has now introduced evidence that it may not be. Multiple storms. Directed. Converging. The Gazette is filing this under things this paper is very concerned about and notes it is a crowded file.

The Gazette notes that the timing of multiple storms converging on Harmony coincides with the active warlock situation, the outstanding Hecuba situation, the unresolved anti-love potion spilled in the basement two issues ago, and the general supernatural destabilisation of the region. The Gazette is not asserting causation. The Gazette is noting the confluence and the Gazette is not comfortable.

The Harmony Baseball Team Is Named; They Are the Harmony Titans; Miguel Is Wearing the Shirt; The Gazette Had Been Waiting for This

Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald was observed this week wearing a Harmony Titans Baseball t-shirt, thereby confirming the name of the Harmony baseball team that he and Kay play on. The Gazette notes the Harmony Titans and notes it has been waiting for this information since the team was first mentioned in the paper's earlier coverage. The Gazette welcomes the Harmony Titans to the record. This paper wishes them well. They are playing on an island surrounded by zombie warlocks at the moment but the Gazette anticipates a return to the regular season in due course.0417