Kay Announces Pregnancy at Charity and Miguel's Wedding; Sam Demands a Name; Miguel Says He Had No Idea; Grace Eyes the Whole Situation
The faint. The test. The wedding halt. The tears. The name. The crocodile tears. The Gazette covers a disclosure delivered with maximum theatrical impact and minimum factual accuracy.
Kay fainted in the middle of Charity and Miguel's wedding. Grace, who has not made a soup cake in months and it shows, assumed she was faking. Eve was not convinced and administered a test on a hunch. The test was, one presumes, a pregnancy test. Kay is pregnant.
Kay then rushed into the wedding in tears, apologised profusely to her parents, allowed Sam and Grace to calm her down, and announced: Daddy, I'm pregnant. Sam demanded the name of the boy who took advantage of his daughter. Miguel maintains he had no idea it was Kay, the Gazette notes that this is technically true, the entire incident having been engineered through the essence of Charity and a series of circumstances Miguel did not fully understand, and that Charity is the only woman he would ever sleep with. Sam consoled Kay, who was crying what Grace correctly identified as crocodile tears. Grace eyed the entire situation with open suspicion. Sam has come to Kay's side and this is further driving a wedge between him and Grace.
Miguel told Kay he will look after the baby but that he only wants to be with Charity. When Kay's parents allowed Miguel to speak to Charity, Kay was furious and blamed her mother. Charity came to Kay's defence when Grace lashed out at her daughter, and explained to Grace why she cannot marry Miguel. Kay is confident she will marry him instead. Kay tore into Charity and accused her of ruining her life. Grace and Sam argue about what should be done. Sam is appalled that Grace thinks Kay should leave if she refuses to stop manipulating everyone. Grace stands firm. Kay is preparing to move out. Good Riddance ?
wrecksLLC · Astute Observation
"are all these pregnancies a ploy to expand the ranks of the MILF force"
The Gazette notes the current confirmed pregnancy count: Gwen (Ethan's child), Kay (Miguel's child, via supernatural deception), Tabitha (Julian's child, via half a Martimmy). The MILF Force is, structurally, expanding.
Bethal Ops Desk · New Year's
Beth Tranquilises Luis to Prevent Elopement; Luis Sleeps Through the Night; Sheridan Waits at the Judge's Office Until Dawn; Both Believe the Other Did Not Come
The drink. The judge's office. The all-night wait. The secretary bribed to silence. Beth describes her methods to Mrs. Wallace. The Gazette documents a scheme that is becoming increasingly pharmaceutical in its methodology.
Luis and Sheridan had planned to elope on New Year's Eve. Beth, having learned of the plan, slipped a tranquiliser into Luis's drink. Luis slept through the night and through his planned elopement. He woke groggy and alarmed to discover he had missed it entirely. Sheridan waited in the judge's office all night. When Luis did not appear, she concluded she had lost him forever. She convinced the judge's secretary to keep quiet about her visit #girltalk.
Beth described her methods to Mrs. Wallace in detail, apparently finding the explanation satisfying. Mrs. Wallace feared her daughter had become a murderer, which given recent axe activity was not an unreasonable inference. Beth clarified: she had merely ensured Luis would walk down the aisle with no one but her. Mrs. Wallace contemplated throwing another obstacle into Beth's plans. The Gazette notes that Edna Wallace's contemplations and Beth's operations exist in entirely separate causal universes, and that the contemplations have not yet produced any intervention of lasting effect. Edna also met with Louis this week in order to spill the beans on Beth's menagerie of misdoings but was caught by Beth and unable to speak her truth. However she was comforted that Louis at least states that family always comes first. Let's see if he can putt his butt where his mouth is on that one. There have been several hints at a new Nurse being introduced to the cast in the coming days. Stay vigilant and don't forget to !diaper up.
Both Luis and Sheridan now believe the other did not show up. Beth is keeping them from learning the truth while doing her hair like the defualt villager from Animal Crossing on her big day. At the church, preparing for the double wedding, Hank and Gwen separately urged Luis and Sheridan to speak to each other and confirm there were no misunderstandings about the previous night. Both Hank and Gwen warned their respective friends they are marrying the wrong people. Sheridan decided to talk things out with Luis. Beth intercepted her and manipulated her into changing her mind. The Gazette notes that Beth has now, within a single arc, deployed: a drugged boilermaker (drink), a fabricated sexual encounter, a staged window scene, an axe, tranquilisers, all in service of preventing two people from having a five-minute conversation.
Tabitha Domestic Desk · Obstetric
Tabitha Confirms Pregnancy; Gold Diaper Baby Arrives; Timmy Sends a Message; Smashing Pumpkins Confirmed
Tabitha took 16 home pregnancy tests. The sticks turned pink. They were the same table that she makes martimmies on. Just laid out. Girl you pee'd on those, get a table cloth. Tabitha is pregnant with Julian Crane's child, conceived after half a Martimmy as reported in Issue 22. Tabitha's primary question upon seeing the result: whether the child will resemble her or Julian. The Gazette considers this a reasonable first concern and notes that either outcome presents interesting implications for Harmony's supernatural ecosystem.
Separately, and in a development that resolves one of the longest-running mysteries in recent issues: the elusive extra baby (now clad in gold diaper) jumped into Tabitha's tum tum. Tabitha realised the baby belongs to her. The Gazette is not certain what this means in literal terms but notes that Hecuba had been taunting Tabitha about the parentage of a mysterious fourth baby for some time, Tabitha has been chasing it across Harmony, and that the baby has now arrived home, as a bun in her oven. Tabitha bemoaned her baby situation. She then received a message from Timmy telling her she will be a great mother. The Gazette files this and notes that Timmy, from wherever he is, continues to be the only person who can get Tabitha to feel something other than anxiety about her circumstances.
The Bennetts gave Tabitha a scrapbook of Timmy's life as a Christmas gift. Tabitha was genuinely grateful. This is the most gracious documented interaction between the Bennetts and Tabitha in the show's history and the Gazette notes it accordingly.
Zombie3LL3 · On the Soundtrack
"wtf Smashing Pumpkins?"
OnlineVCR · Confirmation?!
"SMASHING PUMPKINS EXIST IN THE PASSIONS UNIVERSE?!"
mossbadger · Budgetary Concern
"this show can afford Smashing Pumpkins?"
The Gazette confirms: the Smashing Pumpkins exist within the Passions universe. The Gazette has no further information about the contractual or logistical arrangements involved and notes that this is, in the broader context of things that have happened in Harmony, not even in the top thirty most unusual developments of the past six months. Get that Cheque Billy.
