The Oz Arc: A Full Accounting

The swingers resort. The chicken truck. The wrestling capital of the world. The demon horn. The Gazette offers a complete structural analysis and closes the file.

When we last left Timmy and Julian, they had arrived at a black-and-white world, encountered a billboard advertising a wizard, and located a yellow brick road. The Gazette wishes to make clear this is an accurate description of events and not a formatting error.060206020602

The yellow brick road led them to a wizard-themed swingers resort, which they subsequently escaped.0602 0602 0602 0602 Their primary means of egress was a chicken truck, which the Gazette considers a dignified exit relative to the available alternatives. The truck deposited them at the self-described Wrestling Capital of the World, whereupon Julian , a man who has survived a tuna vat, a fake death, and the Crane family dinner table, was expected to actually wrestle. 060206020602 06020602He performed adequately. 0602 He was then chased out of the arena by the other wrestler and the audience simultaneously, a dual pursuit. The Gazette notes the bell never rung and is considering the match ongoing.

Wolves and bears subsequently entered the narrative. Timmy and Julian found refuge in a country home whose occupants, upon learning of the quest for the demon horn, imprisoned them in a cage. 0602 0602They escaped. They found the demon horn in a cave guarded by a snake.0602 0602A weird snake, per correspondent notes. Tabitha, monitoring through the looking cauldron, pulled the snake through via rhyme spell and was immediately flattened by the effort. 0602Timmy retrieved the horn.0602 All ingredients for the spell to save Charity are now in hand. They are on the bus back to Harmony.0602

The Gazette notes, for readers who lost track, that Julian escaped the original tuna vat by swimming to the bottom and out through the drain into the bay. This information was filed late. We regret the delay and find it entirely in keeping with the broader situation.

Death Row Correspondent

Theresa Executed; Governor Calls to Confirm Everything Is Going Well

The long monologue. The ringing telephone. The complete absence of a pardon. The Gazette has covered many executions and this was a new one.0602

Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald was executed this week after delivering a monologue of considerable length and child or normal size. While strapped to the table at the precise moment the phone rang. The phone was the Governor. The Governor was calling to confirm that everything was going well. He was not calling to stop the execution. The execution proceeded. Theresa was pronounced dead.

For context: Ethan had been in the Governor's office attempting to secure a pardon, at which point it became clear that Alistair Crane had arrived first and had the situation structurally contained. Theresa, for her part, had informed Father Lonigan that she did not require last confession because the Cranes would not let her die. 0602The Cranes let her die. The Gazette notes this represents a failure of intelligence at the strategic level.

Separately: Pilar, while caring for Theresa's Baby, Ethan Martin, 0602 0602has located the fake tape depicting Ethan committing the murder. The tape is fake. The murder was fake. Theresa is dead. The Gazette will not editorialize further as it is already editorializing simply by describing what occurred.

Hospital Corridor Desk

Ethan & Gwen Deliver the Baby; Theresa Had Previously Stabbed Gwen With Scissors

Before all of this, Ethan helped Theresa escape the hospital so she could give birth somewhere safe rather than be immediately executed post-delivery. Theresa, during the period she was waiting for a discreet helicopter while experiencing the natural physiological urgency of impending labor, stabbed Gwen in the back with scissors. Gwen and Ethan subsequently delivered the baby together. They told each other they loved each other during this process. Theresa, now in the hospital and separated from her child, is experiencing a mother's love and finding it difficult to let go. The Gazette notes the timeline and declines to comment on the scissors further.

Automotive Explosives Desk

Car Bomb Calibrated to 7,800 RPM; Sheridan's Driving Record

Brian is preparing for a major race to cover the gambling debt Sheridan incurred when she was tricked by the hitman Nick Idolgabult, as reported in Issue 19. Prior to the race, a black cat was discovered inside the engine. Sheridan, concerned for Brian's safety, decided the most logical response was to take the car out herself for a precautionary drive.

The car contains a bomb. The bomb is triggered if the vehicle exceeds 7,800 RPM. Sheridan got the car almost fast enough to blow but not quite, in true Sheridan/Diana fashion. 0602 she almost ran over brian while he was trying to stop her.

Frozen Person Status Desk

Real Charity Thaw Imminent; Gwenifer Anderson Enters the Official Record

With Timmy on the bus back to Harmony in possession of all necessary spell components, Real Charity's release from the ice block in which she has been suspended is considered imminent. 0602 Separately, the Gazette adds to the official ledger of names: Gwenifer Anderson. We will not elaborate. The name has been filed and will be preserved.0602

APB Desk

Luis Draws Weapon on Chief of Police; APB Issued Anyway, Presumably

Upon discovering Theresa had escaped the hospital, Sam moved to issue an APB on both Theresa and Ethan. Luis, her brother, produced a firearm and pointed it at the Chief of Police to prevent this. Theresa was subsequently executed regardless. Luis had the gun, the conviction, and the worst possible timing. These things can all be true simultaneously and in this case were.0602

Disguise Collapse Desk

Julian Was Norma the Whole Time; Norma, Now Free of Obligations, Dresses as Priest and Kills Fluffy

The rubber makeup. The hammer and chisel. The Martimmies. The kitchen fire. The Gazette documents the complete life cycle of a disguise.0602

Following the revelation in Issue 19 that Norma was operating a diner in an impenetrable disguise as a woman named Peggy, Timmy,having suspected Peggy was Norma all along, got Norma drunk on Martimmies and removed the rubber makeup with a hammer and chisel. The person underneath the rubber makeup was not Norma. It was Julian Crane.0602

The Gazette pauses here for the reader to absorb this information at whatever pace suits them.

Julian, who escaped the tuna vat via drain, had been operating a diner in a rubber Norma disguise for an unspecified period. He subsequently set fire to the kitchen and escaped out the back with Timmy. Toto was inside. Timmy returned to save the dog. This is consistent with established character behaviour and the Gazette is glad to report it even now. They are on the chicken truck referenced in the Oz section. They are coming home.

The actual Norma,0602 now free of the obligation to be Peggy, 0602acquired a priest disguise, infiltrated Tabitha's home, killed Fluffy while searching for Timmy, and attempted to decapitate the floating head. The floating head survived. Fluffy did not. The Gazette notes that an escaped mental patient in priest vestments attempting to murder a supernatural entity in a witch's living room is, in the context of Harmony, a Tuesday. We say this with no diminishment. It is simply accurate.

Paranormal Conflict Desk

Kay Deploys Holy Water; Zombie Charity Retreats Into Graveyard; Warrior Angels Status Unknown

Zombie Charity, continuing her operational program of succubus-related interference with Miguel, deployed a shadow demon to represent her at Charity's 18th birthday party, a party at which Tabitha had already caused mass chaos by reading tea leaves and showing everyone their horrible futures, then slipped away to the graveyard,0602 summoned demons to restrain Kay, and attempted to proceed with Miguel.0602

Kay had holy water. She freed Miguel. She deployed the holy water against Zombie Charity. 0602Zombie Charity vowed revenge and disappeared into the graveyard. The Gazette considers this a clean resolution to a graveyard succubus situation and commends Kay for maintaining a baseline of sacramental preparedness that the other residents of Harmony consistently fail to demonstrate.

Kay had previously also summoned a group of warrior angels to kill Zombie Charity. The warrior angels are noted for the record. Their current operational status and effectiveness remain unclear and will be tracked in subsequent issues pending further reporting from the field.