The Scrolls Reveal That Luis and Sheridan Have Been Star-Crossed Lovers Across Multiple Lifetimes; Tabitha Has Intervened in Every One; Brian Antonio Is the Constant Third Party

Cleopatra. The Titanic. Every doomed love across centuries. Tabitha at the centre of every ending. Brian in the middle every time. The Gazette notes that this is the most significant piece of cosmological lore this paper has been asked to report since its founding and is giving it the space it deserves.

0420A scroll returned to Tabitha bearing Luis and Sheridan's pictures. Tabitha read from it. The scroll revealed that Luis and Sheridan are not simply two people in a difficult relationship. They are star-crossed lovers whose connection has persisted across multiple lifetimes - documented instances include Cleopatra and her lover, 0420and a couple aboard the Titanic - and that in every single one of those lifetimes, Tabitha has intervened to end what they had. 0420 The Gazette notes that Tabitha and Timmy's cover story on the mainland is that they are ordinary residents of Harmony. The Gazette notes this cover story has always been thin and notes that a multi-century documented pattern of supernatural sabotage of a single love across history makes it considerably thinner.

The structural constant across every lifetime is Brian. In each incarnation, Brian has appeared between Luis and Sheridan as a mediating or interfering figure. The Gazette notes that Brian Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald - for that, as this issue will document below, is his full name - does not know this is his role. The Gazette notes it is a significant thing not to know about yourself.

0420 Many years ago, on Sheridan's 5th birthday. Tabitha told Sheridan she would be searching for her love forever. This is related to the scrolls. The Gazette now understands this was not a general supernatural warning. It was a specific statement of what Tabitha has been engineering across centuries. The Gazette is updating its assessment of Tabitha's operational scope from "local witch" to something considerably larger. The file has been reopened.

Diana, who is Sheridan but forgot, remembered what Tabitha had said about Sheridan being fated to search forever. Diana and Brian Antonio contemplated their Christmas star wish together but have not yet made it (tune in Friday, Dear Viewer). The Gazette notes the star wish and notes it is the kind of moment that is gentle and significant at the same time and notes this paper has been documenting Passions for fifteen issues and can still be caught off guard by a Xmas wish in early May.

Brian Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald · Revealed

Brian Is Pilar's Son; Luis's Brother; Has Someone in Harmony He Is Not Eager to Face; That person is Luis, Luis and Antonio Hash It Out; Both of Them Are Right

Brian O'Leary - whose real name this paper can now confirm is Brian Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald - is Pilar's son and Luis's brother. He has been in contact with the Harmony Herald website to look at pictures of Luis and other members of the Lopez family. Luis and Antonio have hashed out their differences. Antonio should have been more present. Luis should understand why he couldn't be. The Gazette notes that both of these things are true simultaneously and notes that Passions, for a show that this week also contains a zombie made of blood magic, occasionally delivers a human moment of genuine accuracy. The Gazette is noting it without irony.

Paloma Lopez-Fitzgerald is mentioned for the first time this week. The Gazette is filing the name and will report developments on the expansion of the Lo-Fi Clan as they occur.

Kay Traps Charity in Ice Using Blood Magic; Creates Zombie Charity to Do Her Bidding; Zombie Charity Kisses Uncle Hank and Nearly Ruins Christmas; Timmy Disobeys Tabitha to Thaw the Real One

0420The spell book. The blood magic. The ice. The zombie. Hank. Christmas. Timmy's disobedience. The Gazette notes that the escalation from "Kay is scheming again" to "there is a zombie" was faster than this paper anticipated.

Kay Bennett, 0420 soul restored but conscience still at large, has been using the spell book with increasing fluency this week. 0420 She disguised herself as Charity using the spell book and immediately made out with Miguel. She was nearly caught. Tabitha and Timmy, intervening from outside with the spell book, attempted to change Kay back into Kay and instead tripled her - producing three Kay-as-Charitys simultaneously rather than restoring the original. 0420 The Gazette notes the error and notes that Tabitha's spell casting, which this paper has documented as formidable across fifteen issues, has produced several consecutive incorrect results under pressure. The Gazette is not suggesting Tabitha is losing her powers. The Gazette is noting the pattern.

Zombie3LL3 · Viewer of Record "Kay did a spell and spun around like Wonder Woman, now she's Spicy Charity. 0420"

The Gazette notes Zombie3LL3's observation and endorses the Spicy Charity characterisation as the most accurate description of Charity's post-power-activation demeanour available. Kay used blood magic 0420 to trap the real Charity in a block of ice 0420 and created a zombie from Charity to execute her plans. The Gazette notes blood magic as a significant escalation from Kay's prior methods, which have included soul-selling, fire-sabotage, mine shaft opportunism, and panther transformation. The zombie is the most operationally ambitious thing Kay has done in fifteen issues. The Gazette notes that the spell book apparently wrote this specific spell just for Kay. The Gazette notes the book of evil has a personalised service function and files this under concerning infrastructure. 0420

Zombie Charity kissed Uncle Hank and almost ruined Christmas. The Gazette notes this sentence is accurate and files it permanently in the record of sentences this paper has had occasion to produce.

Timmy, who has a documented conscience and a documented affection for Charity, disobeyed Tabitha and began working to thaw the real Charity from the ice. Tabitha did not sanction this. Timmy is proceeding anyway. The Gazette notes Timmy's disobedience and notes that every time Timmy has disobeyed Tabitha on matters of conscience, he has been right. The Gazette notes it is watching. 0420

Ivy's Blackmail · David Hastings Update

It Is Revealed That Ivy Hired David to Break Up Sam and Grace; David Believes He Is Being Blackmailed; The Gazette Updates Its Assessment of Both Parties

The Gazette must issue an update to its ongoing coverage of David Hastings. It has been revealed this week that Ivy hired David to break up Sam and Grace. David believes the distinction that he is being blackmailed rather than participating willingly. The Gazette notes this distinction and notes that a person being blackmailed into breaking up a marriage over multiple episodes - through surveillance operations, a fake wedding reenactment, contradictory priest testimony, and sustained psychological pressure on Grace - is making a series of active choices regardless of the coercive framing.

The Gazette updates its file on David accordingly: the marriage claim may be real or fabricated, but the operation around it is confirmed as Ivy-directed and David-executed. The Gazette updates its file on Ivy: the woman who apologised to Grace at the bridal shower and squashed the beef in issue eleven was simultaneously running a paid campaign to destroy Grace's marriage. The Gazette notes both things are in the record. The Gazette notes Ivy contains multitudes, and the means to hover-around-them. The Gazette does not consider this an excuse.

The Gazette · Institutional Self-Assessment This paper has been watching David Hastings since issue eight and elevated its concern to maximum in issue fourteen. The revelation that Ivy is behind the operation does not vindicate David's methods. It contextualises them. The Gazette notes the distinction.

Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald · Medical Note

Theresa Is Likely Pregnant; The Father Would Be Julian; The Gazette Notes This With the Seriousness It Warrants

Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald is likely pregnant. Given the events documented in issues nine and thirteen, the father would be Julian Crane. Ethan is learning about these facts at Christmas. The Gazette notes the information asymmetry and notes that it has been building for six issues and that the structural pressure on it is now substantial. Ethan is a lawyer with access to a full law library and at least 1/4 of a brain. The Gazette is watching.

Bennett House · Construction Update

The Bennett House Is Nearly Rebuilt; Everyone Is Pitching In; This Paper Considers This Good News

The Bennett house, which sank into the earth in issue five and has been under reconstruction by Sam and Hank since issue ten, is nearly complete. Everyone is pitching in. The Gazette notes this is genuinely good news and notes that this paper does not always get to report genuinely good news and notes it with appropriate warmth. The Gazette wishes the Bennett family well in their rebuilt home and notes it has better foundations than the previous one, which had a hell portal in the closet. BREAKING: CHARITY SENSES EVIL IN THE NEW BUILD, IS PUT ON ICE.

Island Desk · Concluded

Luis and Diana Have Arranged Dinner in Harmony; They Missed Each Other an Absurd Number of Times; The Panther Was Shot Off the Roof and Landed on Timmy and Tabitha; Everyone Survived the Hospital Explosion

The island situation has reached its conclusion. Luis and Diana, having missed each other an absurd number of times across multiple episodes, have arranged dinner together in Harmony through the resort proprietor, having learned they are both returning to the same town. The Gazette notes that they will have dinner together in Harmony without Luis knowing Diana is Sheridan, and notes that Harmony's capacity for sustained dramatic irony continues to impress this paper even after fifteen issues of coverage.

0420The panther situation from issue fourteen has been resolved. The Kay panther was shot on the roof and fell onto Timmy and Tabitha. 0420 The other panther - who was not Kay and an escaped panther from the zoo- was also shot and captured. Timmy and Tabitha dragged Kay home. 0420The transformation wore off on the way. The Gazette notes both panthers are accounted for and notes that the panther landing on Timmy and Tabitha is a sentence this paper did not expect to write when it was founded and writes now without flinching, because fifteen issues of Passions coverage has expanded this paper's range considerably.

Everyone survived the hospital explosion. The Gazette notes the hospital explosion and notes it has been reported as a resolved situation without sufficient context, which this paper acknowledges is a gap. The explosion occurred. Everyone survived. The Gazette is filing this and moving on in the interest of page space.

Diana was caught in an undertow and saved by Brian Antonio. 0420 Luis was also in the water at the time and was seemingly unaffected by the same conditions, being a strong swimmer. The Gazette notes this as consistent with Luis's documented character and notes that Luis has survived: a boat explosion, driftwood submersion, underwater recovery, and now an undertow in the vicinity of a possible reunion. Luis is indestructible.

Charity Standish · Powers Update

Spicy Charity

Miguel is worried about Kay and is preparing to go to the basement to check on her. He does not know Kay is now a zombie operating on Charity's body. He does not know the real Charity is in a block of ice. 0420 The Gazette notes the information Miguel is missing and notes that the gap between what Miguel knows and what is actually happening has been one of the defining features of Miguel's documented arc across fifteen issues. The Gazette has watched Miguel descend into hell three times and be covered in goo twice and notes that of all the things he has survived, not knowing what Kay is doing has been the most persistent threat.

Ethan and Chad · Community Note

Ethan and Chad Are Volunteering at the Children's Home

Ethan Winthrop and Chad Harris are volunteering at the children's home this Christmas. The Gazette notes this and notes it is the kind of detail that sits differently in a week that also contains a zombie, a centuries-old curse, blood magic ice. The Gazette notes the volunteering and notes it is kind.