Kay Reads From the Book of Evil Tabitha Planted in Her Room and Transforms Into a Panther; A Panther Has Also Escaped From the Zoo; Timmy and Tabitha Are Hunting Kay While Unaware of the Second Panther 0428

The book. The passage. The transformation. The zoo escape. The two panthers. Timmy and Tabitha hunting one without knowing about the other. The Gazette has confirmed all of this and is still processing it as it unfolds.

Tabitha planted a book of evil in Kay Bennett's room. Kay found it and read a passage from it. Kay transformed into a panther. The Gazette notes that this is the most direct consequence of reading an unvetted book that this paper has documented in fourteen issues and notes that this paper has been recommending source verification since its founding.

Simultaneously, a panther escaped from the Harmony zoo. There are now two panthers at large in Harmony. One of them is Kay. Timmy and Tabitha are hunting for Kay-panther while unaware that a second, unrelated not kay panther is also at large. The Gazette notes that Harmony, which is also currently managing an active floating head situation, a convergence of supernatural storms, multiple active murder orders, and a fax that Ivy will not release, has added a two-panther problem to its active file. The Gazette notes the file is full but continues to report.0428

The Gazette notes that Tabitha planted the book of evil that caused Kay's transformation, that the floating head demanded Kay be made evil again, and that Kay becoming a panther is technically a form of evil but is probably not what the floating head had in mind. The Gazette does not know whether a panther counts toward the basement entities' requirements and notes this is an open theological question.

Charity Standish · Tree Intelligence

The Leaves Tell Charity That It Is Not Just Kay Conspiring Against Her; Charity Is Being Protected by Trees; Tabitha and Timmy Found Hostage in the Attic

0428Charity has been receiving intelligence from the natural world. The leaves this week informed her that Kay is not the only one conspiring against her. Charity is being actively protected by trees, which this paper notes is a more reliable ally than several of the humans in her documented circle. Charity and the kids located Tabitha and Timmy being held hostage in the attic. 0428 The Gazette is noting the attic situation and noting it is the fourth or fifth distinct location in the Lenox household that has hosted a supernatural situation in this paper's run. The Gazette considers the Lenox property the most eventful residential address in Harmony's documented history, which is a competitive field.0428 Charity was able to talk the tree into releasing T&T from it's branchy grasp. Noting that even if life is dangerous and out of your control, it's still worth living, in a rare showing of petrified wisdom.

Rebecca Shoots Ivy's Heirlooms; Holsters a Pistol in Her Garter; Insists This Is Her Turf Now and She Intends to Defend It

The gun case. The heirlooms. The garter holster. The wheelchair. The stairs. The fax. The Gazette notes that Rebecca Hotchkiss has, in a single week, out-escalated every prior documented escalation in the Crane household and this paper has covered some significant ones.

Rebecca Hotchkiss produced a firearm from a large case this week and shot Ivy's heirlooms while insisting Julian marry her immediately.0428 She declared this is her turf and she intends to defend it. 0428The Gazette notes the declaration and notes it was made with a firearm that had just discharged at antiques, which is a persuasive framing device. In preparation for the wedding, Rebecca was observed holstering a pistol in her garter. The Gazette is noting the garter holster as a new development in Rebecca's documented character and notes that this paper has covered Rebecca across fourteen issues and has not previously had occasion to note she was armed. 0428The Gazette is updating its assessment of Rebecca accordingly.

Alistair called Julian from a rare game poaching trip to instruct him to marry Rebecca. He then shot an elephant. The Gazette is noting the elephant. The Gazette does not have further information on the elephant's condition but notes Alistair's capacity to conduct a murder order, a family management call, and a poaching expedition simultaneously as a piece of operational character documentation.

BoneHurtingDrew · On Missed Opportunities "Goddamn, these people love to waste perfect opportunities to tell the truth."

The Gazette endorses this assessment and notes it applies to the Theresa/Julian marriage revelation specifically, in which Ivy found the annulment papers and Theresa managed to lie her way out of it. The Gazette notes that the truth has been available for several consecutive episodes and has not been deployed. The Gazette notes this is consistent with the documented pattern of Harmony residents interacting with the truth and notes that Ethan, specifically, does not yet know what he does not yet know.

Ivy, still recovering, crashed the Julian-Rebecca wedding by crawling out of her wheelchair, descending the stairs, 0428 and passing out in the lobby while holding a fax containing information about Theresa and Julian's marriage. She would not release the fax. Julian subsequently tasked Theresa with retrieving and burning it from Ivy's hand in her hospital bed. The Gazette notes the specific assignment of burning the fax as a task and notes it is the kind of assignment that creates witnesses. Upon striking the lighter in the highly flamable room of the hospital. Theresa caused a terrible explosion to which we are not currently privy to the results of. Tune in friday 9am pst @ twitch.tv/onlinevcr for the thrilling conclusion.

Julian Crane · Confession and Consequences

Julian Tells Rebecca About Theresa; Attributes Everything He Did to Theresa; Is Beaten by Rebecca; Rebecca Threatens Little Julian Specifically; He Is Warned

Julian came clean to Rebecca about his marriage to Theresa this week. He then attributed everything he did to Theresa - framing her as the instigator of the events this paper documented as Julian's doing in issues nine and thirteen. Rebecca beat him and threatened, in terms this paper is characterising as RoboCop-adjacent, little Julian specifically. Julian has been warned. The Gazette notes Julian's version of events and notes it conflicts with this paper's own reporting and the truth, which the Gazette stands behind. A big day for Jules, who has been beaten now by almost every resident of Harmony at this point, the gazette previously reported on his beatings By Ethan, TC, Louis, Eve, Theresa, Timmy (airstrike/drop) and now Pilar joins that group as she attacked Jules YET AGAIN with a letter opener. 0428

Island Desk · Diana and Luis

Luis Recovers Diana's Scarf From a Tree Root; Notes It Smells Like Sheridan and Sunshine; Luis and Diana Are Night Swimming on the Same Beach; They Have Not Yet Met

The scarf. The cliff. Brian. The rose. The bad driving memory. MORE fax drama. The night swim. The Gazette has been tracking every near-miss on this island and is noting them with increasing tension.

Diana - who this paper notes is Sheridan - has been on an unnamed island near the Bahamas where she has been regaining fragments of memory. A rose triggered a recollection of being a bad driver and hitting a cop car. She is beginning to remember who she is. She has remembered that someone loves her. The Gazette notes this is the most significant piece of Sheridan's identity reassembly since she began introducing herself as Diana, and notes that the love memory arriving before the name is consistent with what this paper has documented about Sheridan's character across fourteen issues.

0428Diana fell from a cliff and was saved by Brian. She lost her scarf on a tree root in the process. Luis, who is on the same island to collect a boat from Beth, recovered the scarf. 0428He noted it smells like Sheridan and sunshine. The Gazette notes that the scarf smelling like sunshine is not a forensic description but is nonetheless a vivid one, and notes that Luis has been in possession of what he may not yet know is a recent item of Sheridan's clothing while Sheridan is, technically, on the same island.0428

Luis and Diana are now night swimming on the same beach. They have not yet met. The Gazette notes that this is the fourth or fifth documented near-miss on this island this week and that the near-misses are accumulating at a rate that suggests the meeting is imminent. The Gazette is at the beach.

There is also some drama with an incoming fax on the island, the details of which contain a 0428 style fax RE: Sheridan. The Gazette notes the fax as a recurring story element across both theatres this week and considers it a notable structural coincidence, or possibly not a coincidence at all.

Beth · Omnibus Report

Beth Has Lubricated at Least Two Separate Plot Points This Week; Has Ties to the Island; Has a Basement Full of Law Books; The Gazette Is Watching Beth More Carefully Than Ever

Beth has had an unusually productive week in terms of plot facilitation. She has ties to the island where Luis and Diana are, having provided Luis with a boat to collect from there. She has a basement full of law books at the Book Café, which she gave to Ethan when he arrived looking for used legal texts to start his practice. The Gazette notes that Beth possesses a boat and a law library and has connections to an island in the Bahamas, and notes that the Gazette's watch on Beth, which has been running since issue three, is now elevated to its highest documented level. The Gazette is not making accusations. The Gazette is noting that Beth is a person about whom many things keep turning out to be true and that this paper has been watching her the whole time.

Ivy has sent a spy named Jerry to Bermuda to extract information from the Justice of the Peace at the resort regarding Theresa and Julian's wedding. The Gazette notes the deployment of a named spy as a new operational development in Ivy's documented methods and notes that Jerry is now on the island and has gotten the JOP drunk enough to talk. 0428

Wedding Infiltration · Tabitha and Timmy

Tabitha Attends the Julian-Rebecca Wedding Dressed as a Chauffeur; Timmy Is Dressed as a Rabbi and Will Officiate; They Are Quickly Escorted Out; The Actual Goal Is Hecuba's Lair

The stolen invitation. The Chauffeur costume. The rabbi outfit. The ejection. The Gazette notes that Tabitha and Timmy have now infiltrated two separate Crane-adjacent events in this paper's coverage and that their ejection rate is 100 percent, which has not yet deterred them.0428

0428Tabitha obtained a wedding invitation by taking one from a mailbox and attended the Julian-Rebecca wedding with Timmy as her guest. 0428. They were quickly ejected from the function. Plan B: Timmy was dressed as a rabbi and intended to officiate the ceremony. Tabitha was dressed as a Chauffeur. The Gazette notes and considers it an unusual choice of disguise for a wedding infiltration, but notes that Tabitha has centuries of operational experience and this paper is not in a position to second-guess her methodology. The actual purpose of the attendance was to locate Hecuba's lair, which this correspondent notes is a more significant objective than it may appear given the outstanding bottle situation.

The Gazette notes that Tabitha dressed as a Chauffeur is an image this paper did not expect to be reporting on in its fourteenth issue and notes this without complaint. The Gazette has, across fourteen issues, documented a monkey transformation, a decapitation, two panther situations, a doll in a pirate outfit, a witch in an Ewok net, and a woman who recovered her voice through clam chowder, a mouse transformation. A Chauffeur costume fits comfortably within this paper's documented range.

Ethan Winthrop · Legal Practice

Ethan Goes to the Book Café for Used Law Books; Beth Has an Entire Library in the Basement

Ethan Winthrop, pursuing his legal career following the loss of the Crane name and estate, went to the Book Café this week to look for used law books. Beth revealed that she has an entire library of law books in the Book Café basement. She gave them to him. Harmony now has a semi-functioning almost lawyer with a book collection. The Gazette notes that this is a significant institutional development for a town that has, in the period of this paper's coverage, required legal representation for: an accidental Bermuda marriage, a bigamy situation, a poisoned ring, a fraudulent crematory, a surveillance operation, and an ongoing annulment. Ethan has work. The Gazette notes the work was already waiting for him before he got his books. The gazette notes that the crane family lawyer was present for most of the day, however our corrospondant was too high to remember his name. If you'd like to contribute to the highness of corrospondants or future weed related reporting bludners, and it is legal for you to do so, please see the PO box at the bottom of the page.

Jessica Bennett · Surveillance Discovery

Jessica Finds David's Surveillance Operation Spying on Grace and Sam 0428

Jessica Bennett discovered David Hastings' surveillance operation targeting Grace and Sam this week. The Gazette notes this discovery and notes that David's methods - which have included standing at windows at night, interrogating Jessica about her family, kidnapping Grace, and now running a surveillance operation - are not the methods of a man whose primary interest is a genuine reunion with a wife who does not remember him. The Gazette is updating its assessment of David from "claim weakening" to "situation concerning." The Gazette notes Jessica made the discovery and is watching what she does with it.